


Open Secret

by Scourgefan12



Category: Hellsing
Genre: M/M, technically all of millennium is there but i'm not about to tag ppl who only show up for 2 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28077198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12
Summary: Doc and Jan's attempts at keeping their relationship under wraps are laughable, nobody else in Millennium is fooled.
Relationships: The Doctor/Jan Valentine
Kudos: 1





	Open Secret

Doc and Jan put effort into keeping their relationship a secret, they didn't want anyone else in Millennium knowing about it.

Well, more accurately Doc didn't want anyone knowing about it. Jan honestly didn't really care, he didn't give a singular shit what the others thought. They could watch him and Doc getting it on and he wouldn't care. Hell, that might be kinda hot actually.

But, Doc cared. For some reason. And Jan _did_ give a shit about what Doc wanted, so he played along, did what he could. 

No PDA, getting all over Doc where anyone could walk in was a no-go. They only got affectionate with each other when they were alone and sure they wouldn't get interrupted. And if they were planning on getting more than just a little affectionate, they were sure to lock the door. 

Doc always got on him about that, he was always eager to just rush into things, but Doc wouldn't let a damn thing happen unless the room was locked up. Jan supposed he couldn't complain, he'd wait the few extra seconds if it meant getting laid. 

Jan also tried to leave Doc alone if any of the others were around, or at least wouldn't bug him any more than he did everyone else. He couldn't ignore Doc completely or that'd be suspicious, but obviously he couldn't be too friendly cause that'd be even more suspicious. So, usually Doc got treated to the same harassment as everyone else.

Doc clearly thought this was a pain in the ass, and Jan did sometimes feel kind of bad, but he couldn't feel too much remorse. Doc was funny when he was mad. Plus, Jan was always sure to make it up to him once they were alone, show Doc that he didn't mean anything by it. Maybe let Doc put him in his place, punish him for being such a little shit.

Another thing they did was make sure not to tell anyone. Obviously, that was the most basic step to keeping a secret.

Well, Jan told Luke, but he figured that was okay. It was Luke, how was he supposed to hide something from his bro? Plus, Luke wasn't one for gossip or spreading rumors anyway, he thought that sort of thing was childish. He wouldn't tell anyone.

Aside from that though, Jan hadn't told a soul. He'd kept his mouth shut like a good little boy. Not that he really had anyone else to tell, the others probably wouldn't believe him if he just came out and said it. They'd likely treat it with about the same amount of seriousness as if he said he fucked their mom or something, they'd think he was just trying to be funny. (Doc had basically created all of them, gave them unlife and whatnot, so in a way Doc kind of was like their mom. Hmm.)

And of course Doc hadn't told anyone. Maybe the Major? He always sucked up to Major pretty hard, Jan doubted he'd have an easy time keeping a secret from his boss. But also, he wouldn't have any reason to share that shit unless the topic came up, and Major didn't seem like the type of guy who just casually asked about his subordinates relationship stuff. Or maybe that's exactly the sorta guy he was? Jan didn't know, it was hard to get a read on the Major, aside from knowing he was batshit insane Jan didn't know a damn thing.

But, Doc was a pro at this whole secret relationship thing, it sometimes made Jan wonder if he had experience with it. He _was_ gay, and Germany wasn't very big on the gays back when Doc lived there, so it was a possibility. Jan never asked though, that conversation topic would probably just bring up bad memories.

Doc was a good actor. If anyone else was around, he'd hardly spare Jan a second glance. If the two of them spoke he'd treat Jan like a complete nuisance, even if Jan hadn't even _done_ anything yet, just like when they'd first met. It was almost kinda hurtful.

Almost. Mostly, it was fucking funny. Seeing Doc act like he couldn't stand him, when they both knew damn well how much Doc loved his ass. (Both figuratively and literally, he had a real nice ass on him and Doc wasn't shy about letting him know.)

Jan would sometimes act like Doc had hurt his feelings for real, scold him for being so cruel and heartless toward his poor boyfriend who'd just wanted a little attention. He'd say that Doc didn't have to go as far as to bully him when the others were around. He'd really play it up, try and get a little pity-fuck out of it, you know? And Doc wouldn't buy the act for a second, in fact he'd laugh right in Jan's face, but would still indulge him most of the time.

Doc was the one doing most of the heavy lifting with this whole coverup thing, it felt like. Which was probably for the best, Doc was the one with more influence in the organization, so it was important for him to keep up appearances.

Jan occasionally wondered _why_ Doc was so adamant about keeping their little thing under wraps. For a while he suspected it was cause Doc was embarrassed to associate with him, which was something Jan wanted to be upset over, but it was fair honestly. Who would want to admit to caring about the court jester of the organization? The person who went out of his way to make everyone else miserable for his own entertainment? Doing so would be like a form of public humiliation.

Jan asked about this once. By doing so he felt like he was being needy and pushy and annoying, which wasn't normally something he cared much about, but when it came to serious stuff like this it'd be kind of stupid to just not give a shit. As much as he didn't want to be any of those things, he needed to know.

When Jan offered up his theory, Doc genuinely seemed kind of offended. He'd insisted that shame had nothing to do with it, saying that anyone who would be too embarrassed to admit they liked Jan clearly didn't actually care about him.

But then, Jan had to wonder, what was the point? What other reason was there? Doc answered that it was to protect their reputations, which only managed to confuse Jan more. Was that not basically the same thing as he'd suggested?

No, Doc explained, it wasn't. This was different, it had nothing to do with something as petty as not wanting people to judge him for his choice in partners. Well... okay actually, it was kind of like that, but more serious. He didn't want the others knowing because he didn't want rumors to be spread about the two of them.

Rumors like Jan only sleeping with Doc to get special privileges or some sort of promotion. Fucking his way higher up into the organization, basically.

Or, the others might think that Jan wasn't even sleeping with Doc willingly. That Doc was just using the power of his rank to force Jan into it. 

Jan only laughed at the first example, he didn't really care what people assumed about him. If they wanted to think he was some sort of harlot, spreading his legs for his bosses to get some extra cash, then whatever. He'd own that, rub it in their faces, say that they _wished_ they were hot enough to strike that sorta deal. 

He didn't find the second example nearly as funny, in fact it kind of pissed him off. Doc wouldn't do that shit, he was... well, not a good person exactly, but he wasn't that fucking depraved. The only thing he did to people without consent was fucked up medical experiments, and even that was rare since most people who ended up on Doc's chopping block were only there because they wanted it to happen, they'd volunteered for it. 

As it turned out, Doc was just as insulted at the first example as Jan was at the second. The implication that Jan's success was the result of anything but his own skill, that he would need to stoop that low to get anywhere in Millennium. It honestly made Doc's blood boil.

Jan felt like he was starting to understand. Neither of them cared too much about what people said about them, but they couldn't stand the thought of the other having their reputation dragged through the mud. (Not that such a thing would change much, in the grand scheme of things. They wouldn't be fired or killed cause of a few nasty rumors, even if the Major bought into the things that were said, it was doubtful that he'd give a shit about what Doc chose to do with his own vampires. Socially though, they'd be fucked.)

So, Jan decided it'd be a good idea to try harder to keep their little secret. Not that he'd been half-assing it before, he was just doubling down on his effort now. Taking it more seriously and all.

With all this in mind, the two of them were pretty confident that nobody knew about the relationship.

Unbeknownst to them, this assumption was atrociously wrong, their confidence was entirely misplaced. Everyone else already knew exactly what was going on, they weren't nearly as good at keeping secrets as they thought.

Jan was primarily responsible for this. He hadn't done anything overly obvious or damning, but it was the little things that people picked up on that gave him away.

The biggest thing was the fact that he didn't hit on people anymore. Before, if he was trying to get under someone's skin, sexual comments were one of the many ways he'd do it. This seemed to be one of his favorite methods too, so when it abruptly stopped, it was hard not to take notice.

At first nobody had known the reason behind this. Jan getting in a relationship was an idea that was thrown around, but that left the question of who he could possibly be dating. There wasn't exactly an abundance of options, but all the high ranking officers insisted it wasn't them. At some point one of them decided to ask Luke, surely he'd know.

Tubalcain specifically was the one to ask, since he had the best standing with Luke. He tried to be casual about it, pointed out that Jan had been less promiscuous lately, maybe someone was responsible? Asked if Luke would know anything about that.

This ended up being no help at all. Luke had just looked at him, muttered a quiet "this is stupid" and then walked away.

So, they were back to square one. A bit frustrating, but fortunately for them this mystery wasn't _that_ hard to solve. One little detail ended up unraveling the whole thing.

One thing they noticed was how Jan would visit Doc's lab just about every day, and on top of that he'd stay for hours at a time, sometimes stowing away for the entirety of the day or night. And they weren't stupid, they knew a vampire like Jan, one who had regeneration abilities and was able to survive just about any injury, sure as hell wasn't in need of any sort of medical care. Especially not any type that would take up so much time.

They also noticed how, if Doc was outside of his workplace, Jan was usually not too far away from him. Hanging around him not unlike a lost puppy. He wasn't always engaging with Doc, but he would stick close.

He also seemed to pester Doc more than he did everyone else. If he had multiple options for who to bother, nine times out of ten he'd choose Doc. 

There was also the fact that Doc didn't seem to dislike this as much as he let on. Sure, he'd complain and insult Jan, but he almost never even went as far as to tell Jan to go away, or leave him alone. He'd just put up with whatever Jan threw at him. And the few times he _did_ do this, Jan would actually listen. He'd shut right up and move onto harassing someone else.

Not only did that inspire suspicion, but jealousy as well. The others wished it was that easy to get Jan to fuck off. Apparently, all it took to get Jan to listen to you was to start sleeping with him. For obvious reasons, they couldn't really employ this tactic. Unless Jan was the unfaithful type, but considering the whole not hitting on people anymore thing, that was unlikely. This wasn't really a problem, nobody else was particularly interested in letting Jan get his filthy little hands all over them, no matter how cooperative it'd make him.

So, they just had the knowledge that Doc and Jan were fucking, and not many plans for what to do with it. They had exactly one plan, and that was to do nothing.

Really, what else was there for them to do? They'd solved the mystery, no reason to care anymore. Even if any of them did still care for some reason, getting involved or giving the happy couple a hard time would be some high school drama type of behavior, and they were more mature than that. (Of course, putting so much effort into figuring this whole thing out was also rather immature, but that was beside the point.)

Good for Doc and Jan, or whatever. They guessed they hoped this whole thing worked out for the two of them, if only because it made Jan easier to deal with. As long as Doc kept him on a leash, he made less trouble for everyone else. Pretty sweet deal, really.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know wtf half of this is, I was just typing words


End file.
